I had already finished my packing the earlier day with some minor leftovers for the last minute. Dad’s got office. Prepared breakfast and had it too. My train (to Bangalore) is at 11:45 AM and his (to Delhi) at 5:30 PM. Army Chief “Deepak Kapoor” was visiting AFMC. Dad left. I rushed back and forth in the rooms recollecting if I’ve missed something to put in my bags. Dad came back early (got me a bottle of hand sanitiser) and we prepared meals for the travel.

As it happens with most of the parents, they load their child with almost everything in their capacity without realising that their kid needs to carry all this. Ditto situation and the same question. How do I carry this stuff now? But my dad is never short of ideas – ideas driven by common sense. Why not? Being in Army, he has been doing all this packing, packaging and pulling for around 35 years now. Result -> I had the heaviest of luggages and I was the most confortable carrying it.

Left the house.
We are sitting on the back seat of the auto to railway station but not talking much. But we are looking at each other in between through the rear-view mirror. We’d be departing in opposite directions today.

Reach station. Enter train.
I was thinking that I am the first one to enter the compartment until I noticed a 50-something uncle sitting on the upper berth holding his undergarments in front of the AC. Gosh! What’s he doing? Is he putting a filter for the air to come out? Nah! he is trying to dry these. After a struggle of some 10-15 mins (how long could he hold these in hands?), he tied his lingerie stuff to the pegs around him. Better than before, but still! Others have entered in but might not have noticed (busy in setting their luggage) the display of his stuff. I got up and suggested him that it’ll take more time for these to dry under AC, better take it outside and spread your “Andar ki Baat” things under the fan outside the compartment. Perhaps he liked the idea, unpegged them and moved out. Good!

Start the train and the phone calls. Grrr… everyone is talking about swine flu. “Put on a mask”, “Take Tamiflu”, “Cover your nose”, “Don’t touch your face” etc. etc.
The longest phone calls since… I don’t know when. But never had I talked for so long that my hand set heats up. This time I could feel the warmth of the phone as well as of the ‘S’ and ‘P’ on the other side. Yeah, a conference call. Signal was coming and going, but the call went on, battery dying but the call went on. For around 2 hrs.

Dinner time. Sleep time.

After 2-3 rounds of increasing the temperature of the AC, the people were still feeling cold. The oldies asked for the AC to be switched off. Damn! Why are they travelling in AC coach if they can’t live with it? I couldn’t sleep the whole night and managed to catch some sleep only in the morning hours.

Reached Bangalore half asleep. Got surrounded by the auto-wallahs and coolies as I got down but I was in no mood to let them carry. As I am walking out of platform 1, 3-4 auto-wallahs are following me. A routine talk with these guys:

Auto Driver: Where sir?
Me: Electronic City.
Auto Driver: [Almost holding my luggage] हाँ, जायेगा ना. चलो बैठो.
Me: कितना?
Auto Driver: ज्यादा नहीं लगेगा सर.
Me: [मेरे पास ज्यादा हैं ही नहीं देने के लिए…] फिर भी कितना?
Auto Driver: 300 दे दो सर.
Me: [Ha Ha! I have only 250 in my purse!] बहुत ज्यादा है.
Auto Driver: ज्यादा कहाँ सर! बहुत दूर है. अच्छा चलो 270.
Me: [पर अंकल इतने पैसे ही नहीं हैं, बाकि क्या कपडे उतार लोगे?] 200.
Auto Driver: क्या सर. इतना दूर है और वहां से खाली रिटर्न आना है. कोई सवारी नहीं मिलेगी. 250 दे दो. [Got hold of one of my bags]
Me: [एक तो ये सामान वैसे ही काफी भारी है, ऊपर से तू भी लटक जा!] 200 से ज्यादा नहीं हैं मेरे पास. प्रीपेड ऑटो स्टैंड किधर है?
Auto Driver: सर, मीटर से चलो. Meter one-and-half.
Me: मैं बस में चला जाऊंगा. सिर्फ 20 रुपये लगेंगे और बस को रिटर्न खाली नहीं आना पड़ेगा.
Auto Driver: बस नहीं मिलेगी यहाँ से.
Me: [बेटा मैं पहली बार नहीं आया हूँ यहाँ!] [I start walking. He is left behind.] ओह! नहीं मिलेगी? कोई नहीं अंकल जी, Thank You. मैं पैदल ही चला जाऊंगा. :)

Dragged my luggage from railway station to bus station (Majestic) via an under road subway. Got the AC volvo (could not get AC in the train, atleast here). 45 Rs and I am there. Wohoo! I am thinking – Good that the auto driver didn’t agree to my offer of 200 Rs. :)

"अबे तुझे तीन हफ्ते हो गए ये कहते कहते कि इस हफ्ते जाऊँगा, इस हफ्ते जाऊँगा अब जायेगा भी कि यहीं डेरा डाल के बैठा रहेगा "

When 90 people got H1N1, everyone is wearing surgical masks, when 2 million people got HIV no one bothers to wear a condom.

Makes sense, Eh? Very true to an extent!

Pune is witnessing an acute shortage of surgical masks these days. Thanks to the dramatic hoopla created around these masks. And not to forget, we have a fancy N-series (not to be confused with Nokia N-series, though it’s no lesser) of masks in circulation. Masks seem to be in vogue – they are selling like hot cakes and they have started becoming more of a fashion statement.

"The much hyped N95 respirators are designed to filter 95% particulates of 0.3 micron, while the size of H1N1 virus is about 0.1 micron. Hence, dependence on N95 to protect against H1N1 is like protecting against rain with an umbrella made of mosquito net."

The Dean in AFMC circulated a notice saying, "No one should be seen wearing surgical masks unless while operating on a patient." Now, can you beat that? I was quite happy on this announcement. The basic idea is that people wearing these masks is just another source of creating panic.

Why don’t the people understand that these face masks are of no help (or of very limited help for that matter) to them, if not properly used/handled and why they don’t damn understand that when they throw these used masks on the road side, they are opening another bigger can of worms for others? Why can’t they dispose their masks properly? Why do they use these masks without knowing proper guidelines of their usage and disposal?

Can you really prevent yourself to come in contact with H1N1 when it is in so much magnitude in the air (Pune has it at the highest intensity level – 6)? At a scale where it has been declared a pandemic by the WHO, it’s almost impossible to avoid coming in contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions.

बचपन में एक चुटकुला सुना था। एक गाँव में जब भी कोई बूढा गुज़र जाता था, तो गाँव के स्कूल में एक दिन की छुट्टी कर दी जाती थी। एक बार दो दोस्त सुबह सुबह स्कूल जा रहे थे, तो एक गली में दो बूढे ताश खेल रहे थे। एक दोस्त बोलता है, "देख मोहन, अपनी दो छुट्टियाँ पत्ते खेल रही हैं।"

अचानक ये चुटकुला क्यों याद आया?

रविवार को मैं सब्जी लेने गया, तो रस्ते में ऐसा ही कुछ देखा। एक प्राईमरी स्कूल के बाहर दो बच्चे बात कर रहे थे। अचानक कुछ सूअर वहां से गुज़रे। एक गिनती करने लगा। और फिर दुसरे को कहता है, "ओये देख, ८-८ स्वाइन फ्लू ! अपनी एक महीने की छुट्टी होने वाली है।" उसके चेहरे पर वैसी ही स्माइल थी जैसी की दर्शील सफारी की थी जब वो "३ X ९ = ३" लिख कर खुश होता है। जो भी है, नादान बच्चे, अपनी ही दुनिया है। पर ये तो अच्छा है की इनको ये पता है की ये स्वाइन फ्लू शुरू कैसे हुआ? पुणे की यही बात ख़ास है - यहाँ के लोग (बच्चे भी) बहुत जागरूक हैं। पर बच्चों कि बात सुन कर, सूअरों ने भी आपस में बात कि होगी - "देखो बच्चों को भी पता चल गया। ये सब साला मेक्सिको के सूअरों ने किया, और इल्जाम हम पर लग रहा है। अब भैया गेहूं के साथ घुन तो पिसेगा ही !"

माहौल अचानक बदल सा गया है।

लोग मास्क पहन कर घूम रहे हैं।

कॉलेज के छात्र ऐसी बातें करते हुए मिल जायेंगे - "अगर फलां टीचर ने मुझे इस बार अच्छे नंबर नहीं दिए तो उसके मुंह पर जा कर छींक दूंगा।"

छात्र अपने मास्टरों के मुंह पर छींकना चाहते हैं, सॉफ्टवेर इंजिनेयर अपने मैनेजर के मुंह पर और मैनेजर लोग शायद अपने मैनेजरों के मुंह पर।" इस बार अगर अप्रैज़ल अच्छा नहीं किया, तो मैनेजर जी गए।"

लोगों में छीन्कासुर प्रवृति (भस्मासुर से प्रेरित) आ गयी है। दुश्मनी निकालने का अच्छा तरीका है।

मास्क जो कि सिर्फ डॉक्टर लोग पहनते थे, वो भी सिर्फ ऑपरेशन करते समय, अब हर कोई पहन रहा है।

लड़कियां अपने सूट से मैचिंग कलर के मास्क खरीद रही हैं। अब सूट से मैचिंग लिपस्टिक तो नहीं दिखेगी, मास्क ही सही।

पहले गर्लफ्रेंड-ब्वॉयफ्रेंड मोटर बाइक पर ऐसे बैठते थे कि बस क्या बताएं (दो के बैठने के लिए पर्याप्त जगह होती है, पर न पीछे वाली सीट फिर भी खाली, दोनों के बैठने के बावजूद), अब थोडी सामाजिक स्वीकार्य दूरी बना कर रखते हैं। (Now, Love is not in the air, Swine Flu is in the air...)

सब एक दुसरे को "स्वाइन फ्लू" भरी नज़रों से देख रहे हैं। इंसान इंसान से डर रहा है। पहले भी डरता था, पर पहले सिर्फ आतंकवादियों या ससुराल वालों से डरता था, अब हर तीसरे इंसान से डर लगता है।

लोग जप रहे हैं कि हे भगवान् इससे बचा ले, बस कुछ दिन और, फिर तो २-३ महीने में अपने होनहार डॉक्टर लोग इसकी दवा बना ही लेंगे।

अगर थोडी देर के लिए इंसान भूल भी जाये कि ऐसा कुछ हवा में चल रहा है, तो हर १०-१५ मिनट में एक मेल आ जाती है कि भैया इतने इत्मिनान से काहे बैठे हो, थोडा डर बनाये रखो चेहरे पर - जाके हाथ धो कर आओ, खबरदार! अपने आँख-नाक को हाथ मत लगाओ, खुजली करनी है तो हाथ से नहीं, बाजू से करो।

पर सब बीमारी का एक घूम-फिर कर एक ही इलाज दिखाई दे रहा है - अच्छा भोजन और अच्छी सेहत। जहाँ भी पढता हूँ, प्रोटीन खाओ, बी-१२ खाओ, खूब पानी पीओ, व्यायाम करो। एक्स्ट्रा ये है, कि सफाई बरतो, सार्वजनिक स्थलों पर कम से कम जाओ, ट्रैवेल कम करो।

After all, "Precaution is better than cure..." बचाव में ही सुरक्षा है। बाकी ये किसे पता है कि कब चाँद कि तरफ पैर हो जायें? मैं भी बस यही मना रहा हूँ कि सही सलामत बंगलोर पहुँच जाऊँ फिर आगे वहां से लिखूंगा। पर ये भी कहाँ लिखा है कि बंगलोर बचा रहेगा। बंगलोर वाले मुझे बोल रहे हैं कि हम तुझे यहाँ घुसने ही नहीं देंगे। :(

हैल्थ मिनिस्ट्री का लिंक:

http://mohfw.nic.in/SWINEFLU.htm

http://nicd.nic.in/Tdr_CDA_Swine.pdf

As a usual Saturday, I joined my friends for playing cricket at 8 in the morning. Played till 11. When I came back and had a look at my phone – 8 missed calls from a friend. “What happened to her?” Called her up! Excerpts:

[It’s ringing…]
Me – Hello!
Furious S – How many missed calls did you get from me?
Me – Eight.
Furious S – And could you see the interval between the missed calls?
Me – Hmm… quite frequent. The phone was not with me and I was playing cricket.
Not-so-furious S – $%$&#^
Me – Ok sorry, what’s it?
S – We are going to Lonavla.
Me – When?
S – Now!
Me – What?
S – We are going to have breakfast and then we’ll leave for Lonavla.
Me – But, how? All-of-a-sudden!
S – We were feeling bored, so thought of going. It’ll take us half an hour to finish
breakfast. Join us a Wakad quick.
Me – Half-an-hour!
[I need to go to the market, buy vegetables, prepare lunch for dad, wash some clothes (which I had already dipped in) and bath]
Me – Hmm… it’ll be a bit difficult for me to join you at Wakad. How about if I come by a train and join you at Lonavla only?
S – I don’t know. Make it fast. We are leaving soon. Bye!
Me – Ok, Bye!

[Hurry up boy! C’mon!]

Went (ran) to market, bought vegetables, washed clothes, prepared lunch (a chutney was the quickest I could think of), had bath and asked Saumik to get me the timings of “Express” trains to Lonavla. I was quick, so was he.
The best possible option was to catch “Pune-Manmad Express” at 12:45.

Told briefly to dad about the plan and left for station at 12:10. Everything was so fast; I had the ticket in my hand at 12:40. Train left at 12:55 (IST – 10 min late is so-much-on-time).

Reached Lonavla station at 1:40 and joined others at “Bushy dam” at 2:10 around 40 minutes after them.

It was our second stint at Lonavla and it was again outstanding. All of us headed for waterfalls. The weather was as usual more than pleasant, the flowing waters more than titillating and we more than cautious with our steps on slippery rocks. Of course we did not want to washout our cameras as we so-coolly did last time.

Last week we went to Bheemashankar and we were disappointed for not getting any waterfalls around with Paramita jumping on every site where the water was falling even from a height of 2 inches, "Hey, waterfall, waterfall!" [Literally … each “falling water” was a “waterfall”]
And here we were at Lonavla with the real waterfalls around us giving a perfect complement to our Bheemashankar trip.

The “giant waterfall” that we feared to enter last year was a bit mild this time (thanks to no rains in the last 2 days) and we left no stone unturned to enjoy the magnificent water-body. And because we managed to carry our cameras safe-and-sound till there, posed-a-lot and clicked-a-lot. These waterfalls are a place where the “serious” become “rollicking”, the “shy” become “playful” and the “naughty” become “impish”. “Maine subah se kuchh nahin khaya tha!”, but the moment I entered the waterfall the “hunger” got washed away and I became a part of the waterfall itself. I sat silently (people around me shouting continuously) closing my eyes (not by choice, but the volumes of water banging on my head did not let me open up) under the head-tapping stream (pelting stream rather) listening to the tabla it was playing on my top.

We came out of the fall after some 1.5 hrs – drenched, with a skin like 80 year old, much-much heavier clothes, absolutely deaf and hungry again. Gobbled up some vada-pavs and corns in no time. Reached back to the parking area, parked ourselves in a side restaurant and again gobbled up vada-pavs and kanda-bhajji (obviously, “Maine subah se kuchh nahin khaya tha!”). Then we walked all the way (~ 5 km) amid scenic clouds and mountains, which was a nice diet to our eyes too, back to Lonavla bus stand to catch the return bus.

Everything fell in place and in time for me since morning till the time to catch the bus back-to-Pune arrived. That's when I realized the 7 missed calls from dad. Called him up and told that I am already in a bus to Pune. We were looking for a bus with a particular route (via Wakad) so that the girls can comfortably drop into their homes en-route. My dad was calling frequently asking the whereabouts, raising the tension-meter and these 3 girls with me were "not bothered at all". Grrr... was that funny, because as per dad I should have entered Pune and I was still "loitering" at the bus-stop? Waited for around 45 minutes and let go 5-6 buses to Pune (because Wakad was not not on their routes) and see, we got into the worst possible bus after that. The bus took the longest possible route (not via wakad) and dropped us at Shivajinagar at 10 PM. Took autos to the respective places to reach home after 10:30 PM.

[Face Papa!] Ok, he is sleeping. Shh.. Just sleep, I'd face him tomorow.

But boy, the trip was oh-so-economical, spending not more than 150 per head (including everything – to-and-fro tickets, snacks, eatables and all the more fun). I have learnt that the trips planned (or not-planned) impromptu turn out to be more fun and leave us more satisfied in the end.

Check out the coincidence: Lonavla was the first place I trekked when I came from Bangalore to Pune and Lonavla is the last too when I am going back to Bangalore from Pune. My take away - this place will always bring pleasant memories to me.